Everybody's got their dues in life to pay...

I had an awkward dream last night. I dreamt that Achen and I got caught in the rain without transport, in the middle of Jalan Kuching, and we terribly needed to go back home. So we decided to make a 'dash' for it. With the rain in our faces, and puddles to negotiate, we dashed on. But at one point, I was beginning to loose my steam, but Achen was hauling her long legs on. So, in no time, I was left on my own, one crazy woman huffing and puffing in classic-Malaysian torrential, trying desperately to keep up.

It was then that I woke up. Wasn't too pleased with my performance. It's a dream for goodnesss sake. I could have easily manouvered my thoughts to make me a champion, right? But nope, slow coach was the order of the day. My current interpretation of the dream? I am sorely out of touch with my body (and mind). Most pressingly, I really need to lose some weight and rebuild my stamina.

Flashback to 6 years ago, I wouldn't have had either of these problems. In fact, my family was always amazed at the amount of food I could guzzle without really gaining much. My brother had once said ominously, "Eda, one of these days, this will all come back at you." Ha ha... you don't know how true that is, Abang. Like Sleeping Beauty being awoken from her proverbial slumber, as soon as I turned 30, it all really did come back to me! The inches wouldn't drop, whether from the hips or waist, my face began to balloon - my true self began its unveiling. And it really did happen as soon as I touched 30. Apart from the age factor, I knew that the abuse I gave my body would finally catch up with me. These were the wrongs, in no special order:

1. Lack of water-drinking. I used to never want to drink water plain, it always had to be flavoured. And only 2 glasses a day!
   
2. My fascination with all thing fast food - McD, Burger King, A&W, KFC, you name it. I could eat the same food over and over for a period of days.
3. My career in advertising, especially working on the Celcom account as well as my current stint, had led to no-breakfast-nor-lunches, work work work, and late night dinners at 2am
4. False belief that I'd be skinny forever...
   

So, now here I am, paying for the dues, wanting to undo all this but wondering if there's no turning back. I just celebrated my 35th birthday, and there are a lot of things which I feel I've not fulfilled.

I'll take it as this being just one of the signals that a true revolution in my life is warranted. Well, slowly, I shall fix this. I've already conquered Number 1. 'Air kosong' is my best friend now. The hotter, the better.

Number 2, is something great to fix. I've begun cooking healthily. OK, so cooking on it's own is an achievement for me. Unlike my sister, I've always hated to cook. But thanx to simple recipes we can get off the net and the travel channel, I can do simple meals which are heavy on the wellness scale. Also, since my boys started on solids, I've started the use of most things organic. It's expensive, but nothing's too good for the kids. Am hoping that once we move into our new home, we'll have a well-stocked ulam garden and many healthy quick-fixes for the palate.

Number 3. Hmmm... that should be happening soon. No spoilers on that yet. But something's abrew...

Number 4 ... would like to change the 'false' to 'true', and 'belief' to a 'reality'... Am hoping that I'll have more time in the future to put in more sweat to achieve this. If Luther V could loose the inches, then so can I.

And I'm not doing this for just vanity's sake. My 3 boys (DH and the twins) are my priority now. And I know that unless i find some peace in this turmoiled brain, I can't be 100% there for them.

Well, looks like I've just set a challenge for myself? In the wise words of the good Doc Brown from the BTTF trilogy "If you set your mind to it, Marty, you can achieve anything!"...